Tuesday, June 12, 2012


 It has been awhile since i have written anything. Haven't felt motivated to write! I think i have been going through some internal turmoil. Trying to sort out my feelings about chastity and our relationship. It seems in the past that all my concern was on how long i was locked up and trying to look at when the time to start the cycle of ejaculation over again. Counting days!....?
We have just passed 90 days with me not ejaculating. While at times it has been a challenge i have learned that there are so many things to experience along this journey that are new and exciting. We do practice oral and penetrative sex regularly. I just do not cum. I know that we have an agreement that chastity has made a huge positive benefit in our relationship and it is here to stay. I do stay locked up 24/7 except for play time. Play time has changed alot! Sex is no longer just sex. It is always exciting and deep. I feel so good when we are close that my mind is learning that being out means extreme closeness and i truly feel my mind has come to a point of telling my body that it has decided to trade cumming for these feelings. My body still screams for release, mostly my balls, but still the extreme desire is there.
Going this 90 days has made me realise that it takes time and pressure to mold ourselves into good submissive men. I knew going in that i felt submissive but now i am submissive. Taking away the ability to touch yourself, to cum at will or for that matter to even have a true erection is powerful! Learning that any and all good feelings come from one source is powerful! At this point i know where my good feelings come from and it feels really good. It is secure and safe. It is proper. I feel like a kid when unlocked and am hard for hours. Learning to pace myself so that i can be a better lover and partner. Knowing that i am not going to cum. That i am going to be so close and have orgasmic feelings over and over. But i will not be cumming. She does not desire it and to be honest i do not either. It undermines the journey we are on. And it is a journey! A great journey! So, do i count days until i cum? NO! I count days it has been as i reflect on our journey, and know in my heart that the way i feel now me cumming would be like an alcoholic taking one drink. I love where i am and how i feel. Am i in control of myself? More than ever. I feel that we have reached a place of loving female authority and on that note i am in less control than ever.
The bad news is i wont be cumming anytime soon!........The good news is that i wont be cumming any time soon!!!!!!!!!!!!

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