Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Cookie Cutter Chastity

The excitment of starting the journey and the distractions along the way! Most men that have had deep desires for male submission and chastity have been working on the feelings for a very long time. In secret! That is a huge reason they look at porn of male submission. Not really relating to the dominatrix as depicted on screen but with the feelings they long for that this image can provide. The brain says that image produces happy, safe and good feelings. Society says something totaly different about them so they must keep it on the down low. It doesn't take long for them to realise that the woman on that screen is not the one he needs to submit to. It is the one he loves that he needs to submit to and almost always his wife or girlfriend.
His partner has no clue! He may have dropped hints or tried to throw it in a conversation but usually not straight out. Depending on her reaction he has set the tone for how they move forward. Maybe he said something in jest and she made light of it. A powerful negative for him! She had no clue, not fair but this happens all the time. Male submission and chastity is a very hard topic to approach for most couples. If they are not close and in love in may not happen. It is very scary for both the male and female partner. Can he come clean with how he feels without being persecuted and thought less of? Will she be repulsed and leave? While he is in the closet with the whole idea he is still hopeful and in the game of chance. If he brings it up and she is put off will she simply say no and all hope is lost? There are a lot of men that try to bring male chastity into a rocky relationship. Tough sell!
All this brings me to the cookie cutter chastity statement. There are alot of books and literature out there that are great helps and mind broadening material! I am a dedicated follower of some. I truly enjoy their perspective. Their are most defiantly patterns to behavior and people that have been around male submission and chastity can vouch for that. The problem with most couples starting cookie cutter chastity is that the read or hear something and think they have to do everything they read or see in order for their relationship to blossom. And on some time schedule. This is truly a journey. And similar to taking a road trip, if you do not like to travel in a car and you are on edge and constantly cant wait to get there you probably wont enjoy the trip. If you look at it as a learning bonding event where you see new sites, stop and smell the roses the whole event is transformed into something totally different. Same distance same destination.
Couples need to feel safe and understand that their success or failure is based on their expectations of the journey and destination. Some women are more aggressive and some less. Some see benefits in the beginning and some learn it over time. Some don't see it up front and never will! A huge setup for failure is for couple to just fall into this type of dynamic that means so much to a submissive male and think if they just do what everyone else says it will work for them. What part of any ones relationship works that way? There is give and take, negotiation, success, failure, disappointment and trials. Couples that have been practicing male chastity and female led relationships and are successful and fulfilled have all these. LIFE!
For all these reasons i have realised that the need for couples to counsel or coach with someone in this will probably determine their degree of success or failure. Books are not interactive. They are great but they have no soul. They have no feelings and they cannot recognize where you are at the moment and provide the needed support to work through today.
Cookie cutter chastity makes for frustration, when your frustrated you act out, when you act out you cause distance in your relationship.......don't cause distance in your relation! Get male chastity life coaching!

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