Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Last night we hit a new high! My mind and body is really in tune with who and where i am. I feel the best about me i have felt in my life! My understanding and acceptance of my place is overwhelming. All day yesterday all i could think about was getting home and us being close. The anticipation is murder! I really did not expect to get unlocked but was happy she wanted too. I have really learned to be close while locked up. Before it was hard for me to do that. My mind and body was not in tune with my place. Now i can be really close and be locked up and not feel like i am going to pull my hair out. All this takes time and alot of training. It also takes alot of self examination as to what i am and what my purpose is. I am a chaste male that belongs to my partner. I love her more than anything. All good feelings i have come from her. She loves me and allows me to be hers! She knows i am hyper excited for her all the time and is comfortable with that. We both know that i have no need to ejaculate. So the fact that sometimes i may want to for a brief moment i know that it is not who i am. Nor can i be what we need when i am not focused. In our begining i think she felt i was getting cheated by me not cumming. Now we know i would be getting cheated if i did. After she finished with me she said that after i was up i could lock up and give her back the keys. There is no need to restain me to get back in. She simply tells me. For most of my life i was excessive. Drinking, smoking and sex but most of the sex was self gratification. Now i do not drink at all, smoke at all or cum at all. We have the most amazing sex i have ever had for long periods of time. Quickies are gone! When we have sex, intercourse, which is often, it is amazing. And i last longer than ever. I have no anxiety about my peformance for my mind and body know that i will not be cumming! FREE!!!!!