Thursday, July 5, 2012
Fireworks without the Finally
The fourth was great! A little rain but all was grand. I was allowed to be unlocked from Tuesday evening till Thursday morning. It felt great! We had amazing sex twice for hours. It is so amazing when she unlocks me. I am like a teenager again. Between the power exchange and the sheer excitement of being close i can hardly stand it. Being lock up most of the time i have become very sensitive. The feelings are like none i have ever felt. There is no mechanical emotion or sex. It is all very intense and special. I had the most amazing orgasm! No i did not cum. The emotional physical orgasm far surpasses the simple cumming that for me and my partner the thought of going back to that old way is out of the question. On the 8th it will be 4 months since i came. She has reprogrammed me to look forward to our time together as a totally different connection . One in which i am free to be unlocked and have as much sex as i want. As long as i do not cum. My body and mind is very in tune with this now and know this is the life for me and us. Is it easy all the time? NO!!!!! i get very frustrated sometimes. But the frustration is learning. I learn to be patient and wait. I learn to control my thoughts and my erections. At least in the day time. During the day my mind and body have realized how far an erection can go and stops there. So when she does unlock me and i can have a full erection it is great! This morning i was horny as usual. It was very tough thinking about being locked up again. It is a very submissive moment when she hands me the lock. I know i have to get back in. After all the play we had the boys were very full and not at all happy about being put back up. She says they don't know what is best! She is right, but they are not happy today! I really never know when i will be unlocked next. Friday usually seems to be the night but not on any schedule. so often it is not Friday. I get frustrated sometimes not knowing but i also like not knowing. If i did know i would probably spend the whole day focusing on that. It is very special when i know she is gonna unlock me. So it is good that way. I guess counting for me relates to how long its been since the beginning of our long session of this journey. I think the biggest change for us is the fact that i have had to understand that my cumming is something i have to give her. It is not mine to squander. Since we will be having no children there is truly no need for it. She had to accept my cumming and chose to be the person in control of us, our sexual relationship and really our direction. Women have spent their lives trying to please men, by making them cum. That was the gauge of success. For us it truly is not. I do not beg her or plead with her or ask to set days when i can cum. I did mention a time way off in the future and she said maybe after that. Submissive men, stop chasing ejaculation. It truly takes two loving committed people and it takes time. A couple cant get where we are in days or weeks. This truly takes a minimum of 90 days for both parties to learn and be comfortable with their new roles. As pouty as it makes me for her to hand me the lock, it would be devastating if she did not! I am a very lucky boy and i love my queen very much!