Monday, April 2, 2012

Submissive Men and Ejaculation

I believe submissive men are cutting themselves short in the world of FLR/ Chastity. The idea that in order for your fantasy to be real you have to have a hyper dominate interaction with another person is just unfair to both the sub and their partner. This is in the most part what begins the cycle of porn surfing. Searching for that hyper quick fix, a shot of dopamine and good to go! Then the buzz wears off and you need more. All driven by the desire to release your submission.
          In mainstream society the need for a submissive man carries past the bedroom. He needs to feel submissive and connected to his partner 24/7. She on the other hand does not need to have to manage him like a child and will bear a huge burden if saddled with more responsibility on a daily basis that she is comfortable with. All the chores done in the world will not relieve the burden. And not all women are dominatrix types or can they identify with how that works. Alot do not wish to, it is simply scary or overwhelming. This does not mean they do not have dominate characteristics and the ability or the desire to tease and please. Quite the opposite, even submissive women desire to tease and please!
           In the realm of mainstream female led relationships/male chastity the female need not be an alter ego doing sessions, rather your daily partner in a loving relationship that is willing to lead at her own pace. She has to find her groove. The submissive partner has to be willing to sub-ject himself to learning and developing the relationship. Submissive men want to jump straight in the water, she will want to put her toe in! She will most likely not be willing to take you on and lock you up and make you submit to her. If you truly are submissive to her in nature and feeling she will not have to MAKE you. Simple suggestions on what she wants and desires should suffice. The submissive dedication you bring to the table will in the end dictate your success or failure, not her ability to dominate.
           Going into the trial period in this relationship there must be clear cut understandings, not a bunch of rules and bullshit. Simply a philosophy to move forward with. She is in charge, and your initial commitment to this lifestyle is that you as a sub will agree to spend the first 3 months without ejaculating. Not without sex. She will decide when she is in the mood to be sexually active. This agreement is needed for many reasons. The greatest is that it will keep you focused.
            To Cum OR Not To Cum?  the answer is no! so don't ask, beg or whine about it. Women are giving up something that is a huge part of their satisfying nature. Making you cum. This is a two partner commitment to a deeper relationship based on closeness and trust. If you want to get kinky, fine, but that is not the basis for this life choice. Some people live a bdsm relationship daily, i feel very few and this will never be the mainstream value. To each his own and i enjoy erotic kink. I enjoy a submissive life more.
            For these reasons i believe that life coaching in this is hugely beneficial for both partners in order to understand what baggage they bring into this dynamic, what this really is, what the expectations are etc. And what are your fantasies. without this there is no foundation. So the relationship falls. This will not fix prior relationship problems. What it will do is change how you look at things in the relationship and how you react to issues It is amazing what happens in a relationship when expectations are being addressed!
          Life coaching at................haveandtohold.net

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