I learned a lot about myself. And made some changes. The first of which is a dedicated paddle which I included a pic of on the site. It is specifically for me. Engraved with Boy Bride and Love Honor and OBEY. I have a love hate relationship with it but we have learned that without it I argue like a bratty boy with a big ego. Whe we argue its hurtful and lasts for days if not weeks. I feel resentful and we cant let it go. When she paddles me we don't argue and it is over after she is done and never spoken of again. It brings out the best of me. Very difficult to be told to go to the bedroom when I feel I have a valid point! Even harder to be told to pull down my panties and bend over. Then the reality is that its what we both need. It reminds me she is the authority and that she loves me enough to not let life separate us. She always makes me verbally acknowledge why I'm there and what I did wrong and what I will do different and apologize. She is sometimes too easy on me. Sometimes I feel like I need to be paddled till I cry. Its very hard for men to feel that emotion, and so often needed. We continue to learn.
Another new revelation is that while I am a boy, I love my feminine side too. I have learned I like being shaved from the neck down. It feels so soft and sensual. She has learned she likes it too. That makes me very happy. Last month I got my first trip with her to the salon for a pedi. It was scary and exciting! I had never been and going with her was so great. She was not embarrassed by me but I was definitely uncomfortable to begin with. Other women there etc. She ordered me a margarita and that helped. When they said what color I felt panic! She picked 2 colors and I just relaxed as much as possible. When it was all done I left on her arm with my first French pedi! I love it! I love her for letting me express my feminine side. Takes a strong woman for that!
We have settled down some now and she is on a short trip. I am home and locked up in my chastity device. We wont be going back to the life without chastity. I love being in an female led relationship. Some women don't understand that the need to lead outside the bedroom is as important as in the bedroom. We spend much more time out of the bedroom. Sometimes boys just need to be spanked!